


I don't love you like I did yesterday

by smaragdbird



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, M/M, Reunion Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 23:21:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9095140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: Desperate, confused and reluctant reunion sex





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this ](http://bbcmusketeerskink.dreamwidth.org/774.html?thread=2310#cmt2310) prompt

“Aramis?” Marsac asked when the door opened.

“Did you expect someone else?” Aramis replied as he slinked into the room, silent as a shadow.

Marsac shook his head. His eyes never left Aramis’ who sat down on the edge of the bed.

Aramis couldn’t tell who moved first but within a heartbeat he felt Marsac’s lips against his, felt the desperate, clawing hands pushing off his clothes and he realized that he was doing the same. He didn’t even know if he wanted Marsac like this anymore but he let him in all the same. There was a sharpness to their kiss, a mutual desire to hurt each other that they were both holding back. Once they had been gentle with each other, they had smiled and giggled, their touches had been gentle and their words soft.

All that had been replaced by silence, by harshness and rough movements. If Aramis had gone with him, if Marsac had stayed, things would have been different but now they didn’t know how to forgive each other for the things the other hadn’t done.

He didn’t know if he wanted this anymore, if he wanted Marsac anymore. But it still felt like they belonged together.

“What are we doing?”

“I don’t know”, Aramis said and kissed him again.

“I didn’t think – “Marsac started but Aramis silenced him with another kiss. He didn’t want to think about the past, about the five years they had been separated. Right now he wanted to relearn the shape of Marsac’s body, the softness of his lips and the colour of his eyes. All these things had dimmed with time.

“God, Aramis, God”, Marsac whispered fervently as he tipped over the edge.

“I know I’m good but there’s no need to call me that”, Aramis joked. He sat back and admired the picture Marsac presented, splayed out and breathless against the sheets. An image fit for a painting: perfect abandon, waiting to be captured with canvas and oil.

“No reply?” He asked, following the line of Marsac’s hip bone with his mouth. He sucked at the flesh there, knowing it would leave a bruise like a mark of ownership. 

Marsac’s eyes were warm and affectionate when he finally said, “If not you then who else shall be my god?”

Aramis smiled, bitter and broken, and Marsac felt like he was back in Savoy, leaving Aramis to die.

Afterwards Marsac buried his face in Aramis neck and despite feeling his tears, feeling his body shake with sobs, Aramis offered no comfort because he had none to give. Something in this moment made him want to mutter soft words, promise that everything would be alright, that he didn’t want to see Marsac hurt, or, God forbid, hurt him more. He wanted to tell Marsac he would make things better that he’d look after him and the mere thought made Aramis’ chest ache.

He couldn’t make such promises. Marsac had abandoned him and he couldn’t forgive that. 

“What if he’s guilty?” Aramis asked. “What are you going to do then?”

“What he deserves.”

Aramis couldn’t find it in him to argue with him about it. The weight of the last five years and twenty dead men lay heavy upon them.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me [ here](http://smaragdbird.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


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